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If two people that are friends decide to date and it doesn't work out, it always makes things weird.” And Connor has experience in this arena, having formerly dated a female friend. Related to that, there’s the whole ‘I don't want to make it weird if it doesn't work out’ thing. In my mind, the person is obviously going to tell everyone. “I would be super-embarrassed around my friends if I thought there was something going on, and then I tried to act on it. “Even if you think you're 99 percent sure there's something there, there will always be a little ‘What if I'm wrong?' doubt,” he explains. He doesn’t want to disrupt the friend and group dynamic.Įven confident guys freak at the thought of you saying you’re “just not that into him,” says Connor, a 24-year-old music management rep. “Saying, ‘I'm just being single right now,’ or ‘I’m focusing on work,’ or the like is the worst, because that person is implying that a good relationship would hinder their life! It’s such a bummer to find out that someone who has expressed interest is not available because she needs to ‘focus on herself’ for a bit.”ĥ.
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“Even if common interest seems to be there, this is a big one,” Sam says. If you constantly project how busy you are, that you’re “really into work right now,” or are “just really happy being single,” your guy friend might start to get the wrong message (read: don’t pursue me, please). He’s not sure if he fits into your life at this point. It's like I've built it up because we've been friends for so long.”Ĥ. “The really odd thing is that I don't seem to have many issues asking women out. Jeff says he still talks to his friend and crush, and they even hung out recently. “What held me back? A collection of mixed signals, like skipping my goodbye happy hour and ghosting me on some texts that dropped hints about grabbing dinner,” he says. Jeff, a 45-year-old ad agency owner, instantly hit it off with a female co-worker, who he was interested in pursuing after he moved on to a new job. You are most definitely sending mixed signals.īe honest with yourself: Are you on the fence some of the time, unsure if you want to move your friend chemistry into a full-blown relationship? If so, he can tell. It may not be as ‘romantic’ as you’d like, but at the end of the day, if a guy is not sure about your interest, he won't swing.”ģ. “From my experience, women hate the idea of clearly explaining their interest. “Girls have a terrible tendency to communicate in ways guys don’t recognize and, yes, we are a bit thick,” he insists. And the more he likes you, the more he may convince himself it’s better to be in your friendzone than out of your life-and all your so-called “hints” are falling on deaf ears. According to Sam*, a 28-year-old business executive, men are not naturally good at interpreting your attraction cues.